After spending several post-op days either lying dazed on the couch watching coverage of Le Gran Douche’s confirmation to the United States Supreme Court, or crapping all over myself due to an anti-inflammatory prescription, I decided it was time to get out of the house and assert my status among the living.
I won several online auctions last week from my hospital bed at the Meijer Heart Center. Some of the auctions I should have let go, but I was like, “I’m not dying dammit, and I’m sure as hell not going to lose any auction!” As you leave the hospital, they tell you not to make any major decisions, and not to sign any legal documents. It’s a pain meds thing. What they don’t tell you as you’re on the 7th floor recovering from surgery is not to bid on bicycles on online auctions. Seriously, I paid $70 for a crapped-up kid’s mountain bike. It’s probably fine, but I’ll spend 5 hours on it and make $30.
So, David in tow, we took off in the ultimate bike-grabbing machine, my late father’s 1991 Chevy Silverado. I always bring lots of old blankets when I have to pick up multiple bikes. This time, I also brought a camping pad, and my wife’s yoga mat (she doesn’t read my blog posts, so whatever). Here’s what we brought home:
I’ve noticed that some of the “bike guys” in the area are having clearance sales this fall. I don’t, and here is why. If you’ve read my post entitled “Be the Change”, you’ll know how I feel about the local “bike guys”. They buy cheap, sell high, and between the two, not much. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s a free country. I’m just different. I want beautiful bicycles to leave my shop. I want them to ride as close to new as possible. I invest a lot of money into them. Blah blah blah. Right. I know. Tooting my own horn. But that’s why I can’t have an end-of-season sale. I’ve too much to lose. I want repeat clients, word-of-mouth clients, and happy clients. This is my first season working in the GR area, so it’s been slower than I’m used to. But if you check out the CL ads in GR, I’m making my mark. No end-of-season sales, but clean, shiny, well-tuned bicycles!
The question is, where do I put them, and how do I stay married as they pile up? Luckily, since my wife and I have owned homes, we’ve never parked in our garages. Garages are bicycle shops built onto the side of homes. Some people choose to park cars in them, rendering them useless. It makes no sense to me. Cars outside, bikes inside. End of story, come winter flood or fire.
After yesterday’s bike haul, it became apparent that my shop was at capacity. Some people have the convoluted idea that cats are at great peril out there in the cold world, and need to be taken in. I feel that way about bicycles, and I’m very lucky, because bicycles do not pee. They do, however, take up a lot of room. Luckily, we have a utility room that, until yesterday, was mostly empty. So here’s what I did.